Red Lines (part 4)

Presentation of the patient:

The patient was in cognitive-behavioral treatment when she came to the clinic. She complained about something holding her back. She was very shy and began to loosen up, when she joined a pentecostal church. The legalistic doctrine of her church kept her from reunions with her school colleges and family members, because she thought they were sinful. After one year of dating the church expected her to marry to prevent sin. Her sexuality transformed into a burden after a traumatic honeymoon. Her husband had not cut the umbilical bond with his mother, yet, causing nasty conflicts between the patient and her mother-in-law. When the patient started treatment with EMDR-J, an abuse memory with lasting consequences came up. The patient's treatment was very intense and complex. The author chose several sessions of different periods in order to give an insight in the patient's treatment.

Illustrative photograph by Jörg Garbers

Fourth session

In this session the patient addresses a family problem envolving a parking lot. She visualizes herself standing in the parking lot talking to her mother-in-law. It's dark. There are two people. The image is getting clearer seeming like a pencil drawing. Green and purple lines are minimizing the picture. A tree appears and leaves flying on the floor. There's a little blue something. She remembers the parking lot. Beneath the tree the wind takes her to the back of the parking lot. She goes to a shed where is light. There's an abyss in the little house. The floor of the house is cracking. The floor falls and reconstructs. Something dark green is getting away from the house. A shadow throws her to the darkest part of the parking lot. The scenery is very gloomy. In the middle of the parking lot a swirl is spinning. She can see the floor with little stones. She sees herself burying something in the middle of the now brighter swirl. The parking lot is much brighter and empty. There's a big palm tree and a coconut tree. She remembers the cranky man who rented the parking lot. The scenery turns dark. The patient remembers that his daughter invented lies about her. She feels the urge to bury what happened. She goes to the parking lot next by. There's a unused lot and another family making trouble. The trouble making neighbours form a triangle. It seems like an alliance. She makes an effort to diminish the triangle. She kicks the triangle and puts it in the dirt. She uses the dirt as fertilizer on the land of her father-in-law. A beautiful flower grows on the fertilizer. She thinks of giving the flower to the family. It's still early. The day is beautiful and the sky is blue. The patient visualizes herself in the house of the girl who spoke ill of her and wishes that the flower fills the whole house. A less beautiful green goes to the other neighbours. She visualizes the triangle. Some flowers open. Suddenly a skull appears. That's not good! She sees herself cutting the leaves growing on the house with a chainsaw.

Red Lines (part 3)

Presentation of the patient:

The patient was in cognitive-behavioral treatment when she came to the clinic. She complained about something holding her back. She was very shy and began to loosen up, when she joined a pentecostal church. The legalistic doctrine of her church kept her from reunions with her school colleges and family members, because she thought they were sinful. After one year of dating the church expected her to marry to prevent sin. Her sexuality transformed into a burden after a traumatic honeymoon. Her husband had not cut the umbilical bond with his mother, yet, causing nasty conflicts between the patient and her mother-in-law. When the patient started treatment with EMDR-J, an abuse memory with lasting consequences came up. The patient's treatment was very intense and complex. The author chose several sessions of different periods in order to give an insight in the patient's treatment.

Illustrative photograph by Jörg Garbers

Third session

The colors changed. The picture seems like a cartoon. There's a person kneeling down. The walls are yellow. There are several doors and a colorful wind. The patient visualizes herself entering the picture and gets to the place of the cartoon. There's a white door. Darkness pulls her. She wants to leave the kneeling position. Darkness calls her. The patient feels sad and her chest is heavy. There are things coming out of the dark door. Something is suffocating her. She wants to withdraw. The space is filling with pipes. The floor turned white. She is falling. Darkness pulls her in. She is swallowed. The hall is filling with white. She goes to the hall next to the door and enters. It's very dark, but there are little lights. She is walking. There's a floor and sometimes light behind her. It's not black anymore but grey. The place is getting smaller. There's light above and the floor is white. At her right something is going on. A little monster approaches. It's no monster, but a white cupboard. She stops in front of the cupboard. There's a little animal next to her foot. It's no animal, but an object. The hall is filled with people. Sometimes they are people, sometimes they are objects. The objects are walking in her direction wanting to talk, scaring her. Somebody goes down to the basement. She is downstairs without any fear. There's a party upstairs. She relaxes and goes upstairs. She is upstairs and wants to turn the lights on. All things are in place. A white double bed is illuminated. There are two bodies in the form of shapes. It's like messing with play dough.There's a blue butterfly, something brown moving and a baby. Something penetrated. The blue of the butterfly turns yellow, red and blue again. She is walking on green grass on a trail. A car passes. She sits on a bench. She is not alone.

Red Lines (part 2)

Presentation of the patient:

The patient was in cognitive-behavioral treatment when she came to the clinic. She complained about something holding her back. She was very shy and began to loosen up, when she joined a pentecostal church. The legalistic doctrine of her church kept her from reunions with her school colleges and family members, because she thought they were sinful. After one year of dating the church expected her to marry to prevent sin. Her sexuality transformed into a burden after a traumatic honeymoon. Her husband had not cut the umbilical bond with his mother, yet, causing nasty conflicts between the patient and her mother-in-law. When the patient started treatment with EMDR-J, an abuse memory with lasting consequences came up. The patient's treatment was very intense and complex. The author chose several sessions of different periods in order to give an insight in the patient's treatment.

Illustrative photograph by Jörg Garbers

Second session

In the second session, chosen by the author, the patient accesses her conflicts with her mother-in-law. She visualizes herself in the kitchen with her mother-in-law. There's a white spot. An empty space opens and she can't see the face. She visualizes a foto from the time her mother-in-law was sick. She feels the urge to enter the foto. There are white walls. She sees herself walking. It went dark at her left, a dark grey. A shadow appeared behind her. She went to the living room. Now there's thirty percent clarity. She feels without courage and stuck, sitting on the floor with her legs crossed. She wants to get up, but isn't able to. Somebody comes out of the dark and sits with her. Afterwards comes another person with less darkness. They're three, reading. A colorful wind coming from the foto passes by. The patient feels ready to get up and follow the colorful wind. She rises, but the person behind her who came from the darkness doesn't want to get up. She motivates the person. She visualizes three shadows of light heading towards the darkness, walking. One turns left into a hall of clarity, two carry on. They arrive at a hallway with a dark green abyss that looks like vegetation. They cling to the wall. There's no floor. The patient looks for the colorful wind. There's no way to go on. Let's go back! The floor reappears. The floor is very white. She feels insecure to step on it. She doesn't want to return. There's dark moss. The image disappears and turns grey. They are going back the way they came. When they get to the first hall, they sit again. The darkness returns. Another person appears giving a hand. They were to go back to that hallway, but it's different. The patient is not sure about the third person. There's a shadow behind her. The hallway is dark grey. She remembers what happened. She approaches a white place, but she is not getting there. There are two persons at the door to the white hall. There are two doors. One is dark and the other leads to a garden. The shadow wants to push and leaves through the garden door. There are two persons at the door, stopping with indecision, unable to take the next step. Doors open and close. The patient visualizes herself between the doors with her legs crossed.